By Melissa Montgomery-Fitzsimmons, Director of Wealth Planning at First Western Trust

Get your own lawyer. That’s the routine first step for anyone when a marriage unravels.

An equally important tip: First find your own financial adviser, especially if you are part of a long-term marriage or a high-net-worth household.

Unfortunately, most people seek financial advice after a divorce. By then, however, it’s too late to change the legal arrangements addressing short-term cash needs, insurance, child support, trusts and retirement. It’s a stressful time, and you might not think of every financial concern that will come up.

Ideally, consultation with a financial planner should come before calling a lawyer, or concurrently with the divorce proceedings. Information gleaned from financial discussions could significantly change the negotiations that occur as part of the divorce settlement process.

You should not rely on an attorney to advise on these financial planning matters; it’s out of their area of competence. Too many people rely on an attorney to assist them in dividing assets, without having a clear financial plan that takes in all of the future needs — college plans, home maintenance, retirement income needs, insurance, long-term care, Social Security, and more. As both an attorney and a financial planner, I can tell you from experience that law school does not provide the degree of financial education that is necessary to competently provide financial planning advice.

Find a brand-new financial planner

And, at least one spouse should not rely on the financial planner or adviser the couple used during the marriage.

Why not? As it would be with a lawyer, it’s a conflict of interest. You want your financial adviser to represent your interests, and your interests alone. However, unlike lawyers who are ethically barred from representing opposing parties, financial advisers and planners are not bound by any hard and fast rules on this. They may still seek to advise both parties in a divorce, even a contentious one.

Financial advisers will, in fact, often exert subtle pressure to continue advising a husband and wife during and after a divorce. After all, many planners are compensated by the amount of assets under management.

Yes, sharing your old financial adviser with your spouse may reduce the expenses of a divorce. But it’s penny-wise, pound-foolish in the long term. And it’s a mistake you can’t afford to make. For the duration of a marriage two people lived on one or two income streams and one set of expenses. Now the expenses will double due to two sets of household bills.

Divorce can oftentimes create a personal finance crisis. It’s a critical time to have someone in your corner.

If money was one of the contentious issues in the relationship, as it is with many divorces, you may need to build or repair your credit. In fact, some people get divorced and find they have no credit history because assets were in the other spouse’s name.

Reasons to get financial advice

Other times when it’s necessary to get your own adviser: Some women, particularly in older generations, may not have been part of the budgeting or bill-paying process while married. They need the education a financial planner can provide to be prepared to go out on their own.

Other, more subtle, reasons often exist, too: The current adviser may speak more directly to one spouse, leaving the other out. Or an adviser might frame the discussion in ways that fits the style of one spouse better than the other. If your adviser is judgmental, condescending or lacks empathy, definitely make the jump.

Word-of-mouth recommendations often are the best way to find a financial planner. The Financial Planning Association can also be a resource. Interview several planners in your area. Find one with the right technical expertise and fit for your personality.

There are different types of advisers. Some are fee-only; others charge by assets under management. Some manage money; others provide only advice. A few also specialize in financial planning during a divorce, working with your divorce attorney to make sure you are protected.

Not surprisingly, divorce-related financial planning is a growing field, and, in recent years, it has become particularly important to those over 50. Divorce rates in this demographic group have increased to 25% from 12.5% between 1990 and 2010, according to a study by researchers at Bowling Green State University.

Besides dividing assets, a financial planner will also give advice on liabilities, which can continue after a divorce is finalized. For instance, what happens if one spouse gets the house and doesn’t make payments? Guess what? You both may be on the hook to the bank.

Financial planners can also discuss with your children what the divorce means to them financially, which may be important if college savings plans or trusts are involved.

The bottom line is that if you are getting divorced, you need someone who will put you first and provide patient guidance about the economic life as a newly single person. A divorce lawyer or your old financial planner probably isn’t the best person to do this.

Melissa Montgomery-Fitzsimmons is Director of Wealth Planning at First Western Trust based in Denver